I am the captian of the brett-mobile and this thing sends out strafing parties into unctuous bell pepper, tapenade and oak-leaf counties in places dried spit and banana peel hang out looking for the perfect dripping-fruit dumpster-dive. Honestly, it’s more like hot blonde wanders down carnival row looking for a fried steak and some oysters and manages to find brooding dude desperately in need of a haircut but with a brazen back-story and looks good in jeans.

Either way, I don’t have to tell you the magic that is Swan. Literally THE old skool winery in Sonoma by which I judge all Sonoma wineries. This is a must-visit in RRV and a place I take all serious people who want to experience the REAL Sonoma. But mind you: Swan is only for real wine people. You will NOT find WSET-1 with knee-hi boots, flat-brim hat and an antique-pink filter at Swan.

2010 JOSEPH SWAN VINEYARDS Syrah Trenton Station Russian River Valley Sonoma 13.6

swanwinery.com