Short Stack

What am I going to say about this wine. Even before you started reading, you were asking that question. I know. If I were blinded this, I’m not sure what I would say. The color is this opaque black purple, with a day-glo violet rim. It stains the glass terribly. Fat, rich and plummy in the nose, the syrup and density fairly leap at you. Blueberry pancakes drenched in margarine and Aunt Jemima. The intense berry heads dangerously into porty, but stops short with the beneficial addition of woody briar and alcohol. I actually might guess this is Caymus. Sweet-smelling and thick with condensed grape juice, I might deduce it is either a very well-made Zin or a Cab made in the going style of consumer appeal. First pours are covered in a barnyard haze, something which quickly turns sweaty and Indian-spiced with air.

It’s a gorgeous wine–I mean, I’m putting myself on the other side of the mirror for a minute, placing myself in a restaurant watching what most of the tables are drinking, sliding into a winelist as an easy and tasteful and profitable option for the unwashed, watching people smile and swoon at a dinner-party. I’m hiding in an endcap, tempting back-label-readers with something half the price of Austin Hope Cab. I’m feeling the warmth of yet another hand gripping me tenderly for a second and third pour. I’m basking in the glory of being the first bottle emptied in a line-up.

In the mouth, it is a stab of pure adrenaline. Viscous and meaty, fruit so ripe it billows a colloidal plume far out into the savory tide. It’s Cab–there’s no doubt about it–and if I didn’t regularly taste the golden-children of red-wine marketing and influencer-darlings (from Napa OR Paso), I might be shocked. But I am not. It is actually EXACTLY the wine I expected. It’s honestly BETTER than I expected. There are SO many wines in California tasting like this now, many around this PP–most FAR more expensive. The mouthfeel is a 2-speed: thick sweet syrupy berry nectar and an invigorating ration of tannin. The former intensifies over the middle as any sort of complexity drops off; the latter under-pinning the entry, then running around for the back door before it thinks you can lock it. I’m not even going to guess the alcohol. Because A. I’d probably be wrong; and B. this winery rounds up–or down–for marketing.

I could sell this wine to fucking Mormons. That’s how good it is. If you manage retail or BTG you’d be a MORON not to have this. I would put MONEY it is identical to Austin Hope cab (with a cheaper oak programme) and I’m sure the margins are better. Bring it in.

2018 TREANA Cabernet Sauvignon Paso Robles 14.5

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