Paso Girls Make Graves

Dark garnet with an amber rim. Beautiful nose of oak and glorious Thanksgiving yam-casserole spice, cassis and a tiny bit of flaccid cellar-floor turbidity all with pruney characteristics tinging whatever fruit is left into a brownish sort of bouquet. It’s quite lovely to smell, but the fruit is not bright: it is chubby and round and faded to compost-y areas not horribly un-fun to cram your nose into–and on the micro-surface will please–but when you start looking, REALLY LOOKING, there’s no there there.

In the mouth, rich cherry of the Nyquil persuasion brings what’s left of concentration to a party dominated by acrid imbalance signifying a clear inability to age. The tertiary nuances try to gain foothold, but it is a losing battle, as all the sweet vanilla and bitter briar in the world can not resuscitate things which were never meant to be. Thin and astringent over the middle, it collapses onto significant tannins where dusty berry will get oohs and ahs from the unwashed but in reality nothing of merit exists. Fatigue has not treated this wine well.

See: there’s a bigger lesson here. These are the wines forced into our eyes and down our throats every day on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. This is the enigmatic situation those of us who KNOW wine will always face against wine-bro who posts the bling-bottles, has been TOLD what to drink, reads the paid reviews, and waxes shallowly poetic about the results. This wine is endemic of Paso Robles Rhone wines: these are the wines the tourist industry and those who drink *great wines* have decided you need. These are the l’Aventure’s, The Denner’s. The Booker’s. The James Berry’s. The Herman Story’s. The Linne Calodo’s and Epoch’s. The Ultima Tulie’s and Levo’s. These are the Larner’s and Kaena’s and Sine Qua Non’s and Coquelicot’s and Alban’s–because I’m NOT just picking on Paso. These wines will never go away, because THEY SELL. THEY SELL LIKE FUCKIN CRAZY. People who know nothing about wine LOVE them, and line up around the block to buy them. They are front-loaded, thickly-macerated, alcoholic beasts designed for ignorant palates on release and do NOT age. Put the glass down and think about it.

2006 GRAVES ‘The Trim Stinger’ GR/SY 98/2 Ohana VYD Paso Robles 15.3

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