Watered-Down Pancake Syrup

Medium ruby with pink edges.  Smells of asparagus and butter.  Oak and alcohol.  Asparagus fried in butter.  Smoke.  Wood smoke.  Hickory.  Bacon.  That’s it.  It smells like BACON!  *light bulb*  Now this brand’s popularity begins to donn on me.  Bacon.  It smells like bacon.  Quite manipulated minerality in the background.  Roundness defying varietal construct.  So chemically influenced.  You DO know this is Hundred-Acre wunder-bud’s second label, right?  That is the only reason I finally shelled out 12 bucks for this plonk.  *Research* I call it.  Peer-pressure, more like it.  I mean–ya GOTTA know, right?!? And then you drink it.  It really isn’t all that horrible.  I have tasted a couple-dozen 30$ Paso cabs further up the dretch-scale and millions of Napa/Sonoma cabs fitting nearly the same flavour-profile.  Olives.  It smells like olives.  Still burns the nose though.  Label claims 13-5 but it is a severely unbalanced 13-5.  It’s just so fleshy and round–and we’re talking about smell here.  I keep bringing this thing to my mouth to drink and tell you what it tastes like but my olfactory gets in the way.  It basically tastes like nothing.  Total watery nothingness in the mouth.  Non-existent fruit.  Acid *I suppose*?!?!? Really groping here.  If there IS fruit, it is definitely a dusky sort of subdued drying ripe cherry situation and the only good thing I can say is: It is not ‘fruit-forward’.  Vapid and watery with the thinnest tannin playing around in the background.  Syrupy nothingness.  You can do worse for 12 dollars, but Oh Dear Dog WHY?!?!?  Don’t drink shit, people.  I don’t care who makes it.  ◊

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