Bricking hard down deep underneath a still fairly dark ruby core. Big gaseous vanilla, alcohol and tired dusty mint in the nose–fruit shallow and flabby. This thing is going to fall apart in 5, 4, 3… I promise.
In the mouth, a vapid red twizzler is all that’s left for fruit–bitter underneath that–with still ample tannins, believe it or not, drying the finish. I mean–this is a pretty interesting experiment and I didn’t expect much more than this from a $25 13 year old Napa cab with a weird name. Thin, out of balance, and not particularly enjoyable to drink. As they said in Repo Man, “Sad and demented– but social.” Or was that breakfast club. Or was that revenge of the nerds. Who cares. Next.
2005 XABO QUIORE Cabernet Sauvignon Rutherford Napa Valley 13.5
Vege-meat, vegetal, vegetarian hippie-sweat, dirty shag carpet, shag carpet on fire, carpet that’s seen to much shagging, a rotten green fatty chemical smell making me terrified what the fruit is like. Shockingly, it tastes better than it smells–at least until slightly past middle. Entry calm and juicy, a hint of acid vaguely sexy and sparking things up, giving you something to root for, but it still can’t make Avatar a good movie. The Necco wafer fruit disappears immediately at this point, and a miserable stew of rotten shit makes you crave Budweiser. Wait. SRP on this was $65?!?!? Ok then. This is really REALLY unpleasant wine.
2010 CONSEJO de la ALTA Tempranillo Rioja Spain 13.5
An electric diaper pink in the glass spelling almost certain doom for the fruit. A prisoner-saldo-peachy canyon-koonunga sort of bubble-gum burnt smoke signals fry your nose alongside alcohol and fibreglas greenhouse cover–most likely housing a lily farm. In the mouth, more sweet grievance, crazy bad fruit salad with off rubbery tastes and a spritzy burn. Oh Dear Dog what have they done to my precious Petite Sirah here?!?! This will be a very popular wine, I promise. I know a BUNCH of people who dig this exact style. So check it out! If you normally drink anything from the bottom four rows of the supermarket, you will love this.
A thin brown liquid that smells straight-up like gym socks and tastes like something died in your refrigerator.
2015 CANTINA DE SOLOPACA Solopaca Sannio campania Italy 13.5