Prim and Proper

You HAVE to buy this wine. I mean… that LABEL. You HAVE to! So bad. It’s not that the font and garish extravaganza are so troubling, it is the NAME and if you close one eye, we’re kinda going all Pax, no? The 13-7 and Sonoma Coast were also big deciding-points, and as soon as you said GRAND RESERVE, I knew it was going to be a great wine. But we’re not here to talk about bad labels. OK, this once.

Medium garnet in the glass, wide clear rim attached to the brick, a musty nose of tired Pinot essence gaseous and fumy. Chocolate and woodsy leather are strong points, a syrupy fatigue of cloying cherry the main event. There’s absolutely no life to it, no virve or charisma.

Tasting it does NOT chime all the bells of bad Pinot, but it certainly doesn’t argue in favor of most of them. Chunky and thin (the latter is not a bad thing), there’s literally no fruit. Varnish and acid atop a molten stew of chemicals and forced drudgery. The horribleness of this wine gains momentum over the middle, where abstract angles of stupidity cross various points of non-interest. Watery and vapid, a medicinal haze controlling abrasive tannin. Yeah… so and about that label…

2017 PRIMROSE TRAIL ‘Grand Reserve’ Pinot Noir Sonoma Coast 13.7

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