An Embarrassment to Your Corkscrew

Regular readers will remember my JC Cellars Syrah junket last week HEREHERE and HERE of 2002 and 2003 vintages.  My fairly definite preference for the Fess Parker Vineyard Santa Barbara bottling over the Napa and Monterey ones made me really eager to open this younger version.  What a disappointment.  Medium ruby and clear edges and non-staining.  Intense alcoholic and definitely pruney nose obscure any interesting nuances.  I thought, Well, maybe I’ll decant it a bit.  A bit of air definitely opened up a tad more background of brier and chalky earth, but both of these come with an unpleasant funky bitterness prohibiting enjoyment.

This wine is an absolute train wreck.  Falling apart right before your eyes and everywhere alcohol stinking and burning and biting at everything.  Can’t be a speck under 15-0.  A dirty dishrag mustiness blends in with nose and early taste, further prohibiting enjoyment.  Shockingly obese in the mouth–so flabby and flat and meaningless and completely devoid of any redeeming fruit or acid.  The pruniness just goes on and on.  Put some raisins in the blender, add a fifth of vodka–preferably out of a plastic bottle–and CONGRATULATIONS:  You’re a wine-maker!  This one just doesn’t have what the older ones tasted last week have: Fruit and Acid.  Find some.

I know there are a ton of wines out there made exactly like this one and people rant and rave about them but I typically steer clear of them unless on a dare.  If you scan my blog and notice an obvious void of these high-profile, trendy-of-late, usually very interestingly-labeled bottles, that is NOT an accident.  This is over-extracted, hi-octane shit and I suppose the truly sad part is:  It doesn’t even have a hipster name.  So this prisoner dies without even a swift kick of recognition from the dolts who suck up this crap.

2006 JC CELLARS Syrah Fess Parker Santa Barbara County  15.0

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