D is for DEAD

At 7 years old, I DARE you to find a worse wine. People are always like, Bro, you’re too hard on these wines. They’re GREAT. Lovely and ripe. Full of fruit. Decadent and elaborate. I have some bad news for you: You don’t know what *fruit* is. You don’t know what “decadent”, “elegant”, or even “GOOD” is. you drink shit wine, and you hang out with people who drink shit wine. These wines will NEVER stand the test of time, and by all studiousness of the label: they SHOULD. But there’s something missing here: and that is quality. One of the shittiest winemakers in the country cranking out edgy labels from a place which classically make GREAT wine for easy sales to the stupid 99% consumer. And you bought it.

Brooding garnet in the glass, impenetrable and thick. A nose of Barbie Corvette-on-fire and yesterday’s grease-pit flushings in sangria-sweat and broken-heel remorse with a side of razor-burn. Dull, cardboardy and stupidly un-fruited, the amount of oxidation reflected here is earth-shattering in its non-event. Oh but let’s taste it! *bad advice*

Sweet cherry reduction flies on grainy edges into dark voids unable to sustain themselves in the conversation of *wine* with people who understand wine. Oh yes: this will forever get jerk-off points with winebro and winewriter and ignorant consumer, but who’s checking these Vivino and Cellar-tracker plaudits? Flabby and flat, the spice all alcoholic heat and numbskull delirium. This skank passed her prime a decade ago but crank is a serious monster. This wine makes Paso seem rather complex. The cougar graininess shown here merits NOTHING. You like this wine: you’re stupid. It’s as simple as that.

2014 ORIN SWIFT ‘D66’ Grenache Cotes Catalanes IGP France 15.2


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